Thanksgiving Blues

It is Thanksgiving, and oddly enough there are so many places I would rather be then where i am now. I want to be in New York working at a soup kitchen. Helping to feed the people who need such a bountiful meal more then me. I want to be driving somewhere...anywhere but here and adventuring, not having a worry in the world except where the next gas station is...and whether or not my CD mixes will get old. This is how I would love to spend my thanksgiving but I am stuck here in this void where I am being suffocated by the haunting of Thanksgiving past as we try to bring that feeling back. That feeling is gone and i have no desire to get it back. I want to start new traditions and create new feelings.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Just some Thoughts

I get this overwhelming urge to write. To empty my head on the paper, but I know that if I were to even try to do that, I would be writing for the rest of my life. And sometimes...the thoughts dont come out that easy. I want to teach myself how to be bold. I am very aware of my mortality. And it seems every day I realize a little more how one moment now may not matter ten years from now...maybe even ten days. I want to tell people exactly how I feel. But there is a part of me that is still scared...scared of what? The rejection...the judgment..the looks of disapproval. But seriously what does it matter? No matter what people are gonna view you differently. Though one person may seem to disapproval...some people may be proud and envious of you. They will all most likely be envious. Everyone is envious of confidence. I also want to post this online. And let people read it...but these are my own thoughts, and to post them would make me vulnerable. But maybe I need to be vulnerable. I have an open heart. It is so very east to come into it. Anyone is welcome. And anyone can hurt me. I get hurt easily and some people I know feel pity for me. They shouldn’t though. This is who I am.